It’s been ten years since my father passed away, but as I’ve come to realize, the pain never really goes away. It creeps up when you least expect it and all I can do is cope the best way I can until it passes. I tell myself that he’s in a better place, and a part of me has come to believe that, but sometimes I forget, and I wonder whether this is one of those lies that we tell ourselves to make us feel better.
For the longest time after his death, it was hard for me to come to terms with things. I couldn’t understand how healing seemed so much easier for everyone else. In hindsight, perhaps it hadn’t been that easy for any of them either; maybe we’re just good at hiding things when we put our minds to it.
People lose loved ones without getting to say goodbye all the time, someone once told me. It was meant to be words of comfort, I suppose, except I didn’t see it that way at the time. How was that supposed to make me feel better?
But little by little, things do get better, even if it has taken me this long to get to where I am now. I’m learning that’s okay, too. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time.
If you’re going through a difficult time, I wish you strength and the will to go on. Take as long as you need, and don’t let other people tell you how to grieve. In time, healing will come.
Remember, hope is a good thing. – Stephen King (The Shawshank Redemption)